Pillars in a Man's Heart
1 Kings 2:2b-3a

"'So be strong, show yourself a man, ³and observe what the LORD your God requires . . . so that you may prosper in all you do'"

"'So be strong, show yourself a man'" How? The Bible says, "'observe what the LORD your God requires'" What is that? Stu Weber's book, Four Pillars of a Man's Heart, lifts up four concepts out of Genesis and then illustrates them with men from throughout the Bible to help us see men bringing their strength into balance-for God and for all of us.

I. The servant king.
Genesis 2:15 (MsgB) - "GOD took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order."

The man and his wife were made to rule the earth as God's king and queen according to Genesis 1:26 (NCV) - "Then God said, 'Let us make human beings in
our image and likeness. And let them rule . . . .'" Ruling is providing
for needs to be met. So Adam was told to "work the ground and keep it in
order." He was neither to work the ground to death-nor-to barely touch it
thereby stifling it's productive and beauty potential. He was to take care of it so it could blossom with God's glory. The king in a man is that which compels him to provide for others.

1. If a man leans off-center one way and he becomes an abdicator. He expects someone else to provide for him and the world. He becomes self-centered.
2. If he leans off-center the other way and he becomes a tyrant. Real men don't abuse others or force others to do his bidding-only those whose pillars are unbalanced.

Since this is God's creation, men must learn from God how to provide.
The servant king needs a vision of what can be-understand what needs to happen. Really that is what "pro-vision" is-seeing what will be needed ahead of time so that it is provided at the right time. He must continually ask, "What does God want me to do with His garden?" What does my wife need? How can I help my children? Are there people I normally pass by that God wants me to help?

Notice that providing includes more than meeting physical needs. It includes mental, emotional and spiritual needs, too. For example, encourage your wife to get that Master's Degree; Climb out of the office chair and slip into the seat to watch your child's piano recital or soccer game; Confront injustice to employees at work; Be the voice of calmness and wisdom when everyone else is losing their cool; Help lead the family to church.

A real man wants to provide for others because he knows that God cares and that motivates him to care. He knows that other people aren't put here to be used for HIS pleasure, but that he is here to make a positive difference in their lives. That is where the blessing is. He listens then gets involved. A biblical man practices what Jesus called "Servant leadership." While some like to lord it over other people, Jesus said, Mark 10:43-45 - " ⁴³Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. ⁴⁵For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.'" Jesus is our model.

II. The tender warrior.
Genesis 2:17 (MsgB) - "'except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil.
Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead.'"

The warrior knows the values of right and justice and he is willing to confront and use his strength and power to stand in between those he loves and all that would harm them. He knows the rightful place of disciplined, aggressive action.

A real warrior doesn't love war (like Gen. Patton did) or conflict, but he has values he is willing to stand by - absolutely - to live up to, even die for. That was the story of Jesus' confrontation in the Temple for the Gentiles' praying area - Jesus forcibly drove out the noisy vendors and restored a place for Gentiles to pray in the Temple.

He is like the shepherd David who defended and protected the flock committed to his care. He was willing to make sacrifices - even risking death for them. To fulfill the vision of the king, the warrior will endure self-denial and even be the destroyer of evil (2 Corinthians 10:3).

1. He knows that if he doesn't act, he will lean off-center one way and becomes a coward. If right is not stood-up for, he knows that others will have to, or what is right will die.
2. If he leans off-center the other way he becomes a brute. "War" is not always the answer. A Godly man knows there is a time for mercy - to put away the shield.

Why didn't Adam help Eve battle Satan in the garden? He was right there-But he was not being a man. There are many temptations, struggles and choices to be engaged. A warrior's life is full of sacrifice - to help wife, children, the spiritually lost, the weak and helpless, his church.

III. The wise mentor.
Genesis 2:16-17 (MsgB) - "GOD commanded the Man, 'You can eat from any tree in the garden, ¹⁷except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead.'"

It is not enough for a man to physically create in the world. A part of a Godly man's transforming the earth is helping people develop and mature. Mentoring is basically passing on the secrets of life from your experience. It involves modeling and teaching. A mentor helps other's see life more completely and learn wisdom (consequences, best choices, etc.).

Mentors communicate transparently, that is, they share success and failures, if those will help the other person. They offer insight to spouse, children or grandchildren, younger neighbors, people who ask what their experience has been.

• A man never trying to help anyone, leans off-center one way and he becomes a dunce.
• But, leaning off-center the other way he becomes a know-it-all.

A truly wise man reads and seeks to understand the Bible, so that not only will he know how to live, but so he may help teach others as well.

IV. The faithful friend.
Genesis 2:18 (MsgB) - "GOD said, 'It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion.'"

There is a need in every man's heart to connect to others. This is hard for many men. It takes courage for them because it requires that we open up more than we naturally want to. We fear vulnerability-but can summon the courage to honestly reach out to others when we choose.

• Lean off-center one way and he becomes a loner.
• Lean off-center the other way and he becomes a smotherer.

You're incomplete without other people. It is important to open up and let some people in-so they can more deeply know you and for you to deeply feel connected to them. The faithful friend is able to own honest emotion. And he is not afraid to appropriately express his emotions. The birth of his first child (like I did in Ayr-Way when Tracy was born and I shed some tears of joy) or when your lost child is found out of a huge group of people (Tracy at the Feast of the Hunter's Moon). If I hadn't expressed some emotion when she was found, what would that have done to my relationship with my daughter? Would she have felt close to me-would she have believed that I cared about her? Probably not.

How many of you have seen the movie, "Saving Private Ryan"? The opening seen of the movie has the old man private Ryan in today's time going back to Normandy, walking slowly through the huge grave yard of all the soldier who died on D-Day and then slowly kneeling beside the gravestone of his friend who died when they stormed the beach. He began to weep. I get emotional just thinking about what it must have meant for him and others like him. Real men choose to experience and even express real human emotions that connect us with other people. That allows us to connect with people and them to connect with us.

What will you do now?

Real men are welcome in Christ and Christ's church. I challenge you men: Be a provider-make the world a better place, beginning with the various needs of your family. Be a defender and use your strength to stand up for justice and right-make the world a better place. Be a teacher-help other people become all they can be-make the world a better place. Be a friend-connect with people-don't be a loner or a smutherer-make the world a better place. Amen.